Letters Of Solitude
by Team Edward Rules All
Summary: What if in New Moon Edward didn't lie to Bella when he left and kept in contact with her in the form of letters? An EXB story. Please R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Letters of solitude **

**I came up with this idea from a dream I had this morning and even though I have so many stories to finish, I couldn't let this one escape from me. In this story Edward told her the true reason he was leaving and left it at that instead of lying like he did in **_**New Moon**_**. I hope you enjoy it however short it may be and stay tuned for the next chapters when I update. Enjoy! Oh and here is the disclaimer. **

**Disclaimer: Yes, I don't own Twilight but can we hurry up with the story already? **

Bella's pov

My life lately had been a living hell with nothing to change it or make it the tiniest portion better. Without _him, _I was ceasing to be and I knew I could never go on. It was only this afternoon that life started to seem better, however inconceivable it may seem and I felt a surge of hope run through me. My heart had very nearly stopped when I saw the handwriting on a letter addressed to me. All the other letters which were mostly bills were tossed aside and I collapsed onto the lilac sheets of my bed grasping onto the letter as if it were a lifeline. My hands trembled as I unsealed the envelope and I marvelled at just the sight of it before I began to read the neat cursive writing which I had grown to love. In fact I had loved it ever since I first saw him write in Biology when we were identifying different forms of mitosis. I took a deep breath and absorbed the words in the letter.

To my dearest Bella

I know I left you heartbroken and half-dead but we both know you wouldn't be better off instead. I still want you to live the life I pictured for you. Do all the things a woman your age wants to do. But don't shy to tell me every insignificant part of your day, all I need to know is that you are okay. If you don't write back then I will understand but I will always love you no matter the distance or piece of land. I just need to have some essence of you to go on. Whether you feel indifferent or deeply care, soon you will meet a man who will always be there. Unlike I who deserves to die. Just know that I love you with all my heart and soul and I never wanted to let you go.

Yours eternally, Edward

How could he believe that I would never reply? How could he think that I will forget him or find another man? None would ever compare to him or even come close to his perfection. None! I scrambled around for a piece of paper and grabbed a ballpoint pen. I quivered with anticipation and adrenaline as I wrote a deep and meaningful reply. After I had written it, I proof-read it five times until I was satisfied and sent it to the return address on the back of the letter he sent me. Now all I had to do was wait patiently and waiting was never my forte but for once in 3 horrific months I felt hope.

**I have already written Edward's pov of reading Bella's reply but I won't put it up unless people like this first part. I have already had a bad experience with writing a story like this (The story I am talking about had 1 review which said how crap the story was and how it was the worst story ever) so I won't put it up unless I am sure people will like it. So if you like this story and want me to put up the second part then please review. Thanks for reading!**

**Click that button **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Sorry for the long wait but I have been super busy but at least it's up now! A special thanks to my reviewers who encouraged me to write this chapter. **

Edward's pov

All day I was nervous and jumpy for _her _to receive my letter. Would she hate me for it? Tell me to stop interfering with her life? Or would she even reply at all? All these questions had been nagging at me all day while I waited impatiently for her reply. I checked for what I hoped would be the last time for letters and amazingly saw one. My hope must have been little if not at all present to bring such a speechless response out of me. I carefully opened the letter, trying not to rip it although I felt like it. Nothing which her delicate hands touched should be destroyed, no matter how quickly I wanted to see her words which she had taken her time to write for my purpose. When I finally opened it, I traced my fingers over the words she had written to me. Knowing that her hands had trailed across this page, it gave me a reverence for this simple letter. I then took a deep, unnecessary breath and began to read.

_To whom my heart belongs to (Yes, Edward that's you)_

_Of course I care, of course I love! How could that have never been enough? You don't know the toll it took on me when you left. You have really put my surviving skills to the test! But these letters should keep me sane, why oh why can't you come back today. I see you everywhere, your face, your eyes, constantly reminding me of your goodbyes. If you are never returning then I must say that I promise that I'll write to you every day. But you must know that without you I can never have a proper life, you might as well kill me with a knife. It would have the same result, just keep in mind that all this isn't your fault. It's all mine; you were just the masochistic lion. You should know that I love you too, more than you did or could ever do. Please come back and ease the pain, assure me that everything will be okay. _

_Your Bella _

I couldn't believe that she still loved me! The pain she must have been talking about must have been exaggerated because my absence couldn't cause such pain. In fact is should cause the opposite. However much I want to return, I can't. These letters can only be the frail line of communication we are allowed to have. Anymore would be treason and an abomination. But if I couldn't return then I should at least give a piece of me so that I could be there without hurting her. However selfish this was, I wanted her to remember me. The only part of myself that I could give her would be my hair as it wouldn't affect me and nobody would be able to tell the difference between my appearance now and after I gave her a small fragment of my hair. So I got some scissors from where they luckily lay near me and cut of a piece so small but so significant that Bella could have a part of me. I then began to compose my reply and put the fragment of hair into the envelope before sending it off and waiting for a reply, hoping that it wasn't in vain.

**I know this chapter is short but if it was long than it would be boring. If you think I deserve a review for my writing then please give me one. I will be grateful. I hope this chapter was to your liking and if you don't like its poetic form then I can change it but I think it makes the whole thing more romantic. Anyway look out for the next chapter. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**I was really nervous about posting this chapter because people have very high expectations of this story and I hope I exceed them. I think it's good but if it's not then don't flame me but if you do think it's well written then go ahead and review because it's nice to hear what people think about my work. Thanks for choosing to read my story, I really appreciate it! Anyway here it is: **

**Oh and here is a disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor do I own 10 things I hate about you which is kind of mentioned in the chapter and I wrote my own version of the poem that the main character said the in the movie. If you have seen the movie then you will know what I'm going on about. You don't need to have seen it to understand everything in this chapter. **

Bella's pov

Since that first letter came, I have been spending more time staring at the mailbox than ever in my entire eighteen years of life. Charlie believes that I am waiting for acceptations from the collages which forced me to apply to or suspects that I spent a ginormous amount of money on something stupid and I want to hide the bill before he can find it but he would and never could guess why I waited so anxiously for a single letter. When the reply did arrive I snatched it from the mailbox and held it to my heart earning a strange look from Charlie. I then raced up the stairs mercifully not tripping and settled on my bed, my heart pounding as I unsealed the envelope. I felt for the thin paper in the envelope but was surprised to encounter something smooth and small in size along with the letter I craved. I took the fragment out and felt the tears silently cascade down my face as I realised that it was a lock of his hair. I stroked the perfect bronze lock, memories of tangling my fingers through his hair as our lips met coursed throughout me. I then kissed the hair gently and placed it on my bed side table, opening the letter carefully.

To my only reason for living,

I hope you like the reminder of myself which I have given to you, I hope that it signifies that our love is true. Now you need to send me something of you, it just needs to be something insignificant and small, something that takes no effort on your part at all. I just need something of yours to cherish, it doesn't have to be totally unblemished. Alice came around today to see if I was all right, not even caring that it was the dead of night. Anyone could have seen her but that not what I wanted to say, Alice wanted me to pass on a message that she misses you every day. She was worried about me and she was worried about you, you do know that she cares about you too. When I told her that I was writing to you she was over the moon, but it all died down when I told her that I couldn't see you anytime soon. You will understand why I had to leave when you have a life with another, don't worry I won't despise your lover. As long as he treats you right and gives you a long and happy life then I am not opposed to him. If you want our letter writing to cease then I will leave you in peace. I don't want to be wasting your time with all these silly romantic rhymes. Before I give my parting word and you tell me that this whole thing is absurd I want to say the depth of my love is purer than a white dove and more beautiful than a red rose, worth it with even having the world's greatest woes or being against my mightiest foes. It's all worth it for you, you are all I think and do.

All Yours, Edward

He was so sweet and I could tell the effort and truth he put into this letter. I needed to think of a way to convince him to return. If Alice was checking up on him then it meant the worst. But what could possibly allow him to return? I needed to find something to send to him which meant of some importance to me, I wouldn't care if it took any effort as long as he had a substantial piece of me like I have of him then I would be content, at least for a few seconds until I waited anxiously for his reply. I looked around and smiled to myself as I saw the perfect item to send him.

**Edward pov** (AN: I hate how my chapters are so short so I decided to add Bella's reply and gift into this chapter as well. Hope you like it. Sorry if you think her gift is stupid)

As I received my beloved's reply I could feel my resolve wavering, especially as her beautiful smelling scent was evaporated into the air as I opened the envelope she had oh so carefully sealed. My fingers encountered something silky and I took it hastily out of the envelope to reveal a fragment of her blue blouse which she knew I had loved on her. I knew the scent would wear away but for now it was enough. There was nothing that she could have given me that could amount to the meaning of this except perhaps herself. But who was I kidding? She was the only thing I wanted right now but I knew I could never have her again. Again my resolve wavered but I shut it out the forbidden thoughts like they were a disease. My eyes then turned to the paper and I began to read it fervently.

_My _reason for living,

Come back for me, don't leave me behind, I begging for you to change your mind. If you really love me then you'll return, Edward when will you ever learn? I can't be happy without you and it seems you are the same why can't we stop playing this stupid game. No matter how sweet this letter is, it will never compare to your sweet kiss. So today I compiled a list of ten things I hate about you, remember when we watched that movie in your room. (AN: Yes this is ExB story. You will get the point of this by the end of the letter)

I hate the way you make me cry

I hate the way you said goodbye

I hate the way you write to me but will never come back

I hate the way you remorse over everything you lack

I hate the way you keep things from me

I hate the way want things to be

I hate the way you beat me at everything

I hate the way I'll never get that engagement ring

I hate the way you make me want to sing

But then again these are the reasons why I love you too that are why I also compiled a list of reasons why I do.

I love the way you're always in a tranquil mood

I love the way you are never rude

I love the way you make me, me

I love the way how you could get inside my house without a key

I love the way you drive your car

I love the way you can find me from afar

I love the look in your topaz eyes

I love your many types of sighs

I love the way you run your hands through your tousled hair

All of this is so much more then I can bear but I love you all the same, just wishing that you will have came.

Yours forever, Bella

I began to sob as I read her response. It was so meaningful and deep in a way that I could never compare to. I had yearned to go back but I knew I couldn't. My mind was conflicted and I was lost for words, not that there was anyone to talk to anyway. After a few more conflicted minutes my head snapped up and I knew my decision.

**This next part is up to you. Tell me if Edward should go back to Bella or if I should write more letter responses. I am at a loss what to write for their responses but who knows, I might come up with something good. Then again I really want to reunite them and end their sorrows. It's up to you now so go ahead and review! **


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! I hope you enjoy this final concluding chapter to the story and that it exceeds your expectations.** **Oh and by the way here is the banner which **AlleyjandroJacobie** made for this story along with a few others if you would like to check them out: **_**.com/albums/ab312/asgibson2893/Banners/**_

**Anyway here is the final chapter. **

Bella's pov

I was baffled by the content of the reply in which Edward had sent me. The length of the letter was much shorter than usual and only stated to read the rest of the abnormally short letter at eleven o clock pm. The extent of my trust for him was enough to do as he requested although I had no idea what he meant? What could the hour have to do with what I read in his letter? Well I would find out in two short but tedious minutes. I kept checking the clock on my nightstand anxiously with curiosity eating at me, just wanting to read the cherished words from my soul-mate. I then heard a faint rustling which had me whipping my head from side to side in alarm. I listened warily again and could only hear the distant sounds of Charlie snoring. The distraction had taken my attention from the clock so I looked to it hastily, then gasped when I realised that it was time. I dove across the room and snagged the letter from where it laid innocently, my eyes travelling to where I had stopped previously. My heart stopped beating when I read what was elegantly written there.

_Look out the window_

I raced over to the window and flung it open, looking out eagerly. My eyes closed and my spirit dropped in disappointment when I found nothing. I heard another slight rustling and then looked down for the source of the noise. What I found down there was better than all the letters sent by Edward crammed together, was better than all the praise in the world, was better than all the money in the world, was better than life itself because without it life wouldn't be worth living. What I found down there was Edward and he was kneeling down on his knees with a velvety red rose offered out to me. His topaz eyes which I hadn't let go for one second from my mind, held hope for forgiveness, were also stained with regret but above all held total love and devotion for me. His lips twisted into a breathtaking smile and his previously dead face lit up.

"I don't need the letters written as a product of our solitude to get my words right" He whispered "But no poem in the world could justify the words I need to say. I am here to ask, no to beg for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it and you should just push me away without a second thought but it won't stop me from trying. I need you, without you I can't function, without you I cease to exist. I'm so terribly sorry for all the pain I caused for you to feel and I will do anything to regain your trust, respect and love. If it takes an eternity then I won't stop trying. Please allow me to take an important role in your life again, not just watching on the sidelines. Please take me back" He pleaded, his voice choked with emotion and a few sobs made their way out. My beloved was back and there were only two words I could say which were of great importance and were truer than ever right now.

"I love you"

With those words he leapt gracefully up onto the window sill then and into my room from which I had backed into when I saw his approach.

"Oh Bella" He sighed before giving me the rose and enfolding me in his arms. I began to sob into his chest, not believing that such a moment could be real.

"Is it, is it really you" I asked hesitantly looking back up into his eyes.

"I feel like asking you the same question" He chuckled and then held me tighter. To make the rose more convenient to hold, I settled it in my hair and then wrapped my arms around him.

"Kiss me" I whispered. He didn't need to be told twice, bringing his mouth to mine to form the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced, everything about it was perfect from the desperate way his mouth moved against mine to the way I could read his every emotion in a way Jasper never could to the way I knew this kiss sealed our future together. I could feel Edward crossing his original lines as the kiss grew deeper but knew it had to end in order for me to breathe. When Edward did indeed end the kiss to give me air to breathe his kisses moved only to face as if he impossibly still couldn't believe that I was here just like I couldn't believe that he was.

"I feel alive again" I smiled in wonder at how uplifted I felt.

"As do I and we will never have to feel the despondency we felt ever again!" He vowed "But that reminds me" He murmured thoughtfully but then stepped back with a small smile on his face. "You have to read the rest of the letter"

"I thought you said you didn't need the letters to get your words right" I laughed.

"Well in this case it's called for. Don't read it straightaway, there is something I need to say first but first you need to have the letter handy"

"Okay" I replied feeling confused as I picking it up from the floor from where I had dropped it as I saw what awaited me outside the window and walking back over to him.

"These are the words I have wanted to say since we laid together in our meadow that first time although now that it's time I'm having trouble saying them but here it goes" He took a deep breath. "Isabella Marie Sawn, I love you with all my heart, soul and being and there is no other for me no matter how long I lived on this earth. You would always be the one which is why I am going to ask this question. Before I ask this indisputably important question you need to first look at your letter"

I looked bewilderedly at the letter and almost fainted when I saw what was written. It was even more astonishing then when he had written for me to look out the window. When I looked back up at him in surprise, he was on one knee and presenting a ring out to me.

"Will you marry me" He smiled hopefully, repeating the words written in his letter to me. I didn't even need to think about my answer, it was so simple and reflected my feelings so perfectly that I didn't feel any hesitancy at all when I said it.

"Of course, what better way to bind my love to yours and express my ever growing love for you then to do it in a ceremony with all our loved ones present" I answered passionately. He slid the ring onto the third finger of my left hand where I knew it would indefinitely stay for all of eternity. He then lifted me up into the air and spun me around in a full circle, kissing me vehemently.

"Yes! Your mine for forever" He grinned when he had set me down.

"And your mine" I grinned back.

"Forever" He promised.

"That's all I need"

**As you can tell this is sadly the conclusion to Letters of Solitude. I hope you enjoyed it! If you did in fact enjoy this story then please review so I can know if you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you! **


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